“Let me love on you for a minute, Mom.”

Ethan was eating breakfast in an unusually ‘chipper’ mood. He is no morning person – just like his Mom. I need a cup of coffee, a diet Pepsi wild cherry, or a Rock Star drink before I am required to be officially awake. Ethan, Ansley and I were eating breakfast – laughing and talking on this almost Christmas morning. As the gifts multiply under the Christmas tree, the kids seem to get sweeter and sweeter. Funny how that works. Anyway, there we were…. having a nice morning. Daddy was already gone to work with promises of coming home early today. Ethan was telling me stories about a friend of his that he has been talking about for days. This particular friend is a precious little man who has Downs Syndrome. But let me tell you…Downs does not have him! He is a big ball of Sunshine! The little man is mainly non verbal and combined with Ethan’s delayed speech, you would think they could not communicate – WRONG! Somehow they did and it was Awesome 🙂 Ethan has been asking about his friend and even asked to go back to Florida to see him. Ethan has been replaying times and ‘conversations’ with his friend. I so wish he could see his friend again. Maybe one day….
So as the conversation turned, Ansley began to talk nonstop about her friends. I tried as hard as I could to follow her, but the girl can talk! In the middle of all of this, Ethan said “Wait a minute, WAIT a Minute!” Ansley stopped talking (unusual) and we both looked at him. “Let me love on you for a minute, Mom.” I stared at him in shock, love, and disbelief. He got up from his seat, walked over to me, and crawled up in my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and really hugged me. “I love you forever, Mom. Thank you so much, Mom.” I am not sure what the ‘thanks’ was for, but I’ll take it. Throughout the day, Ethan has told me that he loves me over 50 times today!!! This wouldn’t be a big deal, except that on May 15, 2011 – Ethan told me that he loved me for the first time, unsolicited. I waited 7 years to hear those words from him. Now 7 months later, they are still music to my ears. Now 7 months later, I am still stopped in my tracks to hear them. These are words that some kids never say to their parents unless they are copying them. But for a child with autism to come up with such a deep emotion, it’s simply amazing. And I guess the thing that really gets me is that when he says it, it is as though he just realized those feelings. The words come from a place that is so real and true that it feels like the World stopped, for just a moment. Mine did. And it does, every time. I will never hear it enough. It will always make me catch my breath….make me stop and hold him….make me look at him a little longer.

Ansley, not to be left out, will quickly chime in her “I Love You’s” along with Ethan. I stop and pick her up, bounce her in the air a little and kiss that sweet little face. My little Princess. My Ray of Sunshine.

Belief is a tough.

This time of year, we are reminded of a young couple that held onto belief with all of their might.

A young, scared, pregnant girl. A young man, not much older than the girl. A young man who was to believe a story about his girlfriend, a story that others would scoff at. “Sure the baby is from God.” Just maybe people tried to talk some ‘sense’ into Joseph. Maybe there were rumors going around…..But Joseph chose to believe. He believed Mary and the Angel. He believed God. When it was the hardest and didn’t make sense, he believed.

As the young, scared Mary entered the stable, all she had to keep her going was her belief that God had his hands on them and would make it all be alright. And it was. They were wise to believe.

It seems that through time God requires each of us to stick our necks out and believe.

We have been busy making sure that the kids know the 10 commandments. CHECK! Next, we have been really going over the facets of Christmas. That Santa is fun and brings gifts, but that Christmas is Jesus Birthday and that is what we are truly celebrating. CHECK! We are even making Jesus a birthday cake this year. It will be a Southern Buttered Pecan cake. Southern for our family – pecans for all of the nuts. Jesus knows us. I have no doubt that He will find it humorous and accurate. 🙂

Maybe our next step is to focus on teaching them about believing. Belief in God, in people, and in life. There is something magical about believing. Believing means you have hope. Hope leads to dreams realized.

So it comes down to giving up or choosing to believe. Against all odds, Believe. When it doesn’t make sense, Believe. When the World tries to take your Faith, Believe.

When the moments come that you feel the weight of it all will surely break you….find that glimmer of hope and hang on.

Tough times pass. They do make you stronger. They do make you stop and appreciate what you have.

As I kissed my giggling boy good night, I Praised God for where he is and where our family is now. We are happy. Really Happy. My children are Very happy. Our Christmas break has been fun. Typical. Autism is there, lurking with the dining room dust bunnies, behind the china cabinet. There, but forgotten. There but not part of our conversations.

We are happier now than we have ever been. God is good! I Believe that He will continue the work he began in Ethan and in our family.

I Believe that God can do anything He chooses. I Believe that God can bless you beyond measure. I Believe.

~Merry Christmas~