It has been a while since I blogged.  So much has occurred that I don’t quite know how to reign it in here. 

We have had lots of ups and downs with Ethan’s school.  Great people truly advocating for him. Then we have wrangled with people who think they can not do their job and that as parents we won’t say anything about it.  I really hate that.  Because as Ethan’s parents, we HAVE to say something.  I just wish we could all operate as a Team.  Some people just aren’t team players and it sure makes me sad.  Not just for Ethan, but for all of the kids getting short changed.  But Ethan is FLOURISHING in spite of these people.  Because God is Good and will have it no other way.  We have people on our Team that are ROCK STARS!  They go Above and Beyond because they Believe in Ethan.  They should, cause I happen to know that he too, is a ROCK STAR!

Everyday is busy and goes by so fast.  Our worries have changed so much.  Old worries replaced daily.  As fast as everything is moving, it can be hard to sometimes catch your breath. 

And then God shows me reminders of our yesterdays. Of all the Blessings from the Lord, when he sends these, I cherish them.  It is as though he whispers “Don’t forget. Don’t ever forget…”

I cannot get so caught up in ‘today’ that I forget our ‘yesterday.’  I know that this is all happening for a reason.  I know that I am ready for whatever God sends my way.  I know that I will do anything and everything I can to help someone in our shoes.  But to do that, you have to remember where you came from.

 

As I pulled up to school to pick Ethan up the other day, I saw a woman walk out the school doors with a little boy on either side of her. The smaller boy skipped along beside her. The older boy, she was holding onto.  Not by his hand, but by his wrist.  It looked normal, for a moment.  Then I remembered.  By the wrist.  You hold hands with a child out of love or because they need direction.  You hold on to a child by the wrist as a restraint.  You see, if you are holding their hand and they start to run, you can lose your grip and they can get away.  If you hold their wrist, you’ve got them.  My heart sank.  I looked up at the boy’s face and at Mom’s.  Yep.  “I remember.”  I gave the Mom a big smile and knowing nod.  She quickly smiled back and then readjusted her grip.

Ansley and I went in to get Ethan.  As we walked out, no hands were held.  We walked along the sidewalk, talking about Transformers and what we would do once we got home. I popped the trunk open as we approached the car.  I put Ansley in her car seat as Ethan put his backpack and coat in the trunk.  He then went around, open the car door and got in. Normal. Normal never felt so good.

Flash back 2 years ago.  Ansley was just a baby.  The same walk out of school would have looked like this:  Ansley on my hip, Ethan beside me with me holding him by the wrist. I would get to the car and point to the magnet.  I have a magnet on either side of the back passenger car doors.  Telling a child with autism to ‘stand there’ means nothing.  They need something more exact.  So I would tell him to put his hand on the magnet.  So Ethan would stand by the car with a hand on the magnet.  I would put Ansley in her car seat while keeping an eye on Ethan at all times, ready to jump and run if he did. Always on edge.  I would quickly get Ansley in and get my hands on Ethan.  If another car honked it’s horn or a motorcycle cranked up, it would be TOTAL sensory overload and he would run from the sound.  Once I got him to the trunk, he could not figure out how to get the book bag off and get it in the trunk.  I would do this for him, while explaining what I was doing.  I have always talked to him like he knew what I meant.  I know now that it was in fact soaking in.  I would then have to open the car door because his hands were too weak to open it. Holding the wrist as we walked around the car.

This weekend, the child scared of bright flashing lights, went to a carnival.  The boy scared of heights, ask to go climb up the big slide and to slide down.  He did it, by himself, over and over.  He laughed and smiled. He was Proud. 

And the boy who couldn’t open a car door, walked into school alone for the first time today.  He opened the big, heavy doors and went in.  He opened the office door and passed through, greeting the ladies at the desk.  He then opened the door to the hallways and walked to class. Alone.  Ethan’s teacher, ABA tutor, and I have shared escorting him to class each morning.  Today is a new day. Today Ethan did it by himself.  He no longer has an ABA tutor at school.  He is in class just like everyone else.  Remember how Ethan likes to talk about becoming ‘that guy Ethan?’ I think today was a HUGE step in that direction.

I opened Joel Osteen’s “Today’s Word” and found this part that spoke to me :

“What we believe either opens the door for God to move or it closes the door. God is limited in our lives by what we believe. So many people don’t even realize that it’s their own wrong thinking that keeps them in mediocrity.”

Doors were opened today.  Doors to independence. Doors to confidence. Doors to a bigger tomorrow.  Doors to a school house that meant my little boy can make it.

May God open all of your doors today and especially keep the doors to your heart wide open.

Keep looking up!