This morning I got good hugs.

That is enough to completely define my day. Not just a ‘kind of’ hug. Not a hug in passing. Not a hug where I had to make him give it to me. I was helping Ethan get his hair combed – just right – this morning. He is very particular about his hair. He is his Father’s son for sure. So as he finished up, he gives me a slow sweet smile. I asked “Did you sleep well last night?” He smiled – “Yes, it was REALLY good sleep.” Then came the hug. The big, two arms wrapped around me hug. The hug where he pulled me closer, that was then topped off with a pat on the back. A long, meaningful hug. For a moment the World stopped and my heart was overwhelmed. “Wow Ethan. That was a really nice, special hug. That makes my heart so happy. Thank you.” Pleased with my comment, he nodded his head and pranced off. I stood there, still holding the comb, still in that moment.

He is with us. He is present. He knows what he is doing and means it. He is happy. He is Ethan.

So Miss Ansley also pranced off this morning, but as a Peacock for school Dress Like a Book Day.  Two happy kids. A dream come true.

Our normal is not like everyone else’s normal. My Autism Mommy Friends know exactly what I mean. When you have NOTHING normal, even a little normal feels AMAZING. So a LOT of normal feels like the LOTTERY. In those moments I would not be shocked to peek out the window to see rainbows and unicorns in my front yard. Golden glitter falling from the sky and fields of lavender sprouting up for as far as I can see…..Yet, there I stand, with my comb in hand, in the moment. And while that celebration is only for me, I know it is also causing great celebration in Heaven. I know that God sees all of these things. He knows where we have come from and just how much that ‘connected’ hug meant to this Mommy who waited 7 years and 2 days to hear her son say ‘I Love You, Mom.’ God knows that connection means everything to me. And to Ethan. Because he can now receive the love that Freddie, Ansley and I have for him. The path is open. All the weeds and hedges are getting torn away. God has been faithful to continue the work in Ethan that he started.

That work has brought us to a new era for Ethan. The medicine that made all of the difference for him, to reduce his extreme anxiety/agitation, that medicine is no longer being used. Ethan is currently medicine free! Now, we are not anti medicine by any means. If he had diabetes, no one would say a word about us giving him insulin. Yet mental health has such a stigma. Parents can be quick to medicate or refuse to when needed. We refused to at one point. Then when we listened to Ethan’s doctor (Finally) and got off our medicine high horse, it made ALL the difference for him. But after 5 years of medication, Ethan’s new doctor wanted to give him the opportunity to try and come off it. He has advanced to a point that we weren’t sure he needed it anymore. So we tried. And he is doing GREAT! He is FULL of energy and talking like crazy. We laugh that he is like a man that has been on a desert island. He is excited to talk to anyone he can talk to. He will talk you to death! The boy who wouldn’t speak, who was learning sign language and made grunting sounds versus words, we are having to ask to calm down all the talking. “Stop talking and GO TO SLEEP!” has been our night time call to this wildly happy boy.

So about 1am the other night, I abruptly wake up to find Ethan – RIGHT IN MY FACE- laughing. Maybe more like snickering. But giddy. I quickly sit up – “What in the world is going on Ethan?” “Mom, I have a joke I forgot to tell you…hehehehe….it’s really funny…hehehehe…” Oh good grief!  “Tell me quickly then GO TO BED.” So he tells me his joke, more like a story, and I try to be as engaged as a half asleep, half startled Mom can be. I make sure to laugh at the appropriate parts so he doesn’t feel the need to repeat the story. He was satisfied. I walked him back to bed and reminded him how much good sleep, or lack thereof, affects his day. He agreed and jumped under the covers, eyes squeezed tightly. The giddy smile still there.

So the hug this morning…that connect….man oh man. That just made my day. I will take that as another indicator that we are moving in the right direction with Ethan. The services we have in place are working well. The break we have taken from other services may have been exactly what Ethan needed. Sometimes you can get too much help…too much of a good thing. All of that help can be overwhelming.

We will keep moving forward. Peacocks, late night jokes and great hugs.

Life is as good as you allow your heart to receive.

Hugs & Continued Blessings to my Autism Mommy Friends. Soak up your moments. They are worthy of celebrating. Your child is worthy celebration.

Psalm 98:4- Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises!

And by all means- Praise the Lord for your child’s life and for these moments. Break Forth and Praise!