Gratitude comes in many forms. Appreciation for moments well spent. Appreciation for making lifetime memories. Appreciation for another day, another month, another year…to try and get things right. Time. So many are not afforded it, yet those of us who are, can take that time for granted. Complaints about aging bodies or children growing up too fast means that we have been afforded this luxury of time.

Our family has found many reasons to be grateful this year. Through Ethan’s sickness, we are even more grateful for the good times. The times when he is not sick or emotionally spent from being sick. We are grateful that he is growing into a kind and determined young man. He is a brother that irritates his little sister during the day, while checking on her at night to be sure she is sleeping ok.

“Mom, get up. Ansley needs more drink in her cup.”

“What? Why are you up this early, Ethan?”

“I checked on Ansley. Her cup beside her bed is empty.”

“Ethan, did she say she wanted more?”

“No. But she will.”

Compassion for others is supposed to be hard for people with autism. It use to be for Ethan. But he is learning. He wants to learn. It matters to him.

Miss Ansley…what a little precious young lady she is growing into as well. Full of energy and talent. My little dancer is now really into crafting. She likes to make jewelry and crochet. She is always making something. She is amazing. She keeps us laughing. At 7, almost 8 years old, she is also my partner. She is my constant helper. From doing chores, to helping me with Ethan, I can alway count on her.

“Mom!! Hurry, Ethan is sick again. This is a bad one.”

She runs to get him something to drink. She gets a laptop and finds a cute picture he will like. Usually a picture of an animal with big, sweet eyes. He says animals like that are cuddly. So when he emerges from the bathroom, she has said items ready to make him feel better. Or she helps me rub his back with essential oils when he is stressed. We softly sing him songs to help calm him. When he has an episode, a severe migraine with vomiting, his emotions get out of wack. He gets very sad. Sometimes he cries. Every time he is extremely stressed. Ansley knows the drill. Turn any noise, like tvs, down low. Turn down the lights. Get everything calm. I go get meds while she calms the environment. I tell her every day that I could not do this all without her. I tell her..I am grateful.

Yet through it all, I know it can be worse. I know it has gotten better. We currently have less episodes. In September and October, he was having up to 12 episodes a day. We struggled to even leave the house. Many tests later and with new medication, we are ‘down’ to a couple of full episodes a week. We have what I would call mini-episodes that we are sometimes able to calm down before he can need a bathroom trip to be followed by pictures of big eyed otters.

I am grateful for Freddie. A good man that I have been blessed to call my husband for almost 20 years. A good man that loves me, Ethan & Ansley  with all of his being. I am grateful that Freddie is continuing to work in his field, even after his short lived 3 month ‘retirement.’ His work makes him happy too. For that, I am sincerely thankful. He deserves all the happiness in the World.

I am Thankful for my siblings. While my parents are both gone, my siblings are my lifelong connection to myself. No matter the time and distance, they know me and we all know ‘us.’ We are lucky to have each other and our bonds. My siblings…they are as good as it gets.

Being a military family, I am blessed, humbled and forever grateful for my military extended family. The people that live this life and get it. The wonderful, caring friends that rise to the top when the party ends, children are sick and the house is trashed. The ones that come pick up Ansley when she is overwhelmed with Ethan’s illness. Or the ones that bring oils to help calm his system. Or the ones who bring flowers and chocolate when a friend ends up not quite being a friend. Or the ones that always include them both in events. The ones who treat him with kindness and understanding. The ones who don’t mind having events at my house so Ethan can go lay down if he needs to. Or the ones who go out of their way to get his medicine when I am struggling to go get it. Or the ones…the ones who understand that through it all, sometimes I need to not talk about it. That sometimes, I need to simply drink wine and laugh. That I hate for a fun night to end, because they can be rare. The ones, that stick around when I need them most. These friends, these are the ones that I am beyond grateful and thankful for. Just as I tell Ansley, I could not do this without you. And yes, I’ve got your back too. Anytime, any place. You are the family I choose.

We have much to be thankful for this year. I am thankful for the positives God has brought to our family, as well as thankful for anything negative He has removed. His ways are not always our ways, but His ways are always right and good. He always gives us reasons to be Grateful. In every trial, there is a reason and an ability to find gratitude. On hard days, I hang on to the fact that this is not our forever home. God has a plan for our lives and for our eternal futures. No matter what life throws at us, I know this to be true. More than anything else, this I am most grateful for.

God loves us. I am Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to You All