It gets exhausting….all the things I want to teach my kids. Be strong. Try hard. Don’t quit. Do your best. Help others. Be kind….

I tell Ethan and Ansley that I don’t want them to be perfect. However, I’m not sure that is exactly what I am relaying. If they actually are able to do all of these things, would that not equal perfection? It would get pretty close.

There’s also the fact that I hover really close. I try hard to make life really good for the Clifford Crew. In our family, we have had many high points and many low. I do wonder what it is like for families that appear to live ‘vanilla’ lives. Lives with bumps in the road but somehow absent of any big life crisis thus far. I wonder if they know that they should really soak up all of their vanilla goodness. I wonder if they realize how blessed they are. I know that I am amazed when our lives get vanilla for a while. The days when everything seems monotonous. Days with no health crisis, where autism isn’t calling all the shots.

This past weekend we had a vanilla weekend. But this vanilla weekend ended up having amazing toppings, whipped cream and a cherry on top. I was able to take Ansley to a weekend dance camp with a friend and her daughter. This friend knew I needed a break and that Ansley would love it. So she invited us months ago….and I accepted, with crossed fingers. Well, we did get to go and it was wonderful. Freddie stayed home and took fabulous care of Ethan. We reviewed the medicine list and emergency plan multiple times. This was more so I could go and not worry. Freddie was patient and let me go on and on until I felt sure he had things covered. He handled everything….perfectly.

Let me tell you, three days of dance convention is exhausting. There is an inordinate amount of walking, dragging bags, and rushing to classes. It was great though! Ballrooms were overflowing with the sounds popular dance music, bodies moving, happy chatter, applause and the overwhelming feeling of excitement. There was a rhythm to the event that was magnetic. Happiness and energy. Peace, Love and Hip Hop. It was of all that, for sure.

The vanilla weekend has passed and the dance convention is over. There is a mountain of laundry to be done. Time to gear back up for school and get back to reality. But Ansley and I have decided to have a new plan. We need to be deliberate about creating that energy and feeling from this weekend. We should not wait for the good days to find us. Yes, Ethan had a major health crisis. Yes, it was scary. Yes, it left a scar and a memory for me and Ansley that we won’t forget. However, we will intentionally no longer let it linger over us. We will create the moments if we need to, but we will not operate under the weight of it another day.

Pursuit of perfection? Not us. We’d rather hang out and enjoy some vanilla. Want to join us? Come on! Here are the requirements: Expect us to not be perfect. Expect us to not always get things right. Expect us to try real hard anyway. Understand that we only share our vanilla with people who are kind. Life is too short for anything less than kindness.